On this beautiful Shabbat evening and the last day of my retreat in the lovely rolling hills of Atascadero, I bid a fond farewell to this magical little spot in the woods.
Though I’ve missed my three boys, I’ve had great company:
a vast canopy of old oak trees; a moonless sky filled with stars; a cleansing day of rain; and Ruach (holy wind), blowing in the spirits of inspiration and creativity.
I don’t have a clock in my sleeping quarters and for the first time in my life I knew I could go look up at the sky and the position of the constellations to have a good idea.
It’s been really sweet.
After such a short time, the rhythm of nature has already begun to root itself into my being.
Its been such a special time here writing, creating, and digging deep to see whats gestating within!
I’ve had some labor pains, yes.
Doubt and uncertainty have crept it, but were quickly chased away as song after song has crowned and come through.
Last night I did dream I was pregnant again – with twin boys! –
(Brian says it was a nightmare LOL!).
In the dream I was touching my belly, contemplating the life growing within me — and somehow feeling equanimity and trust with it all.
When I woke this morning, I knew the dream was about creativity.
There are so many adventures to embark on — and so many creative and different ways to doLife.
Recently, someone remarked that I seem to be doing so very many things, and ‘will the real Kimberly please stand up.’
It gave me pause, honestly. I thought on it a lot.
I have so many interests and passions.
I wondered where such a question would come from. Are we supposed to pick one thing and then do that the rest of our lives? Or choose a lifetime theme?
Are we allowed to reinvent ourselves if we want to?
As a late bloomer, I’m only just beginning to consider all the possibilities! As they say, the world is your oyster!
Ironically, on the way up here, I listened to “Women Who Run With The Wolves” (can I just say wow! Thank you, Ms. Estes for giving us permission to just be who we are). I was blown away when Ms. Estes answered that exact question:
“So, if someone says ‘Who are you really?’ I’ll tell you what I tell people.
I tell them ‘Well, that’s still aborning. And all I know is, I’m really friendly…but I’m not quite tame.
So may it be for you.’”
In the end, I wrote a song about it, LOL!
“Do I Dare,” which will be featured on my debut album “Light Of My Soul” coming this spring.
—- And to answer that question: “Yes…Yes, I do!”
I choose not to argue for limitations nor to be defined by them! And I encourage all of you beautiful people to do the same